Get Your Roots Done

My best friend called the other day to tell me she had a woman stop her in the store to compliment her on her hair. She told her how she loved the cut, color and the ombre affect. Unfortunately, Anber, a mother of 3, business owner and part time single mommy as her husband works out of town, who is also preparing her home to sell and is building a new one, had not received a cut nor color in months, in fact the “ombre” affect that she was so adequately complimented on was simply her grow out, and an obvious need for a touch up. Many mothers could sympathize with the sentiment that we lack the motivation for self care when there are so many much needed things to do on the agenda. We skip meals or eat fast food. Sometimes even constituting coffee as all viable food groups while feeding our family wholesome organic, farm raised, pinterest, compartmentalized lunches. Any bathroom activity generally take about 10 minutes or however much time you have left after getting everyone else (including your husband who wanted a shirt ironed 15 minutes before you walk out the door) ready. Our idea of exercise is walking quickly through the grocery store with a cart full of children and any form of heavy scrubbing or mopping.  The 20 something girl who would go tanning ( I know, kills your skin but you know you did it), get her nails done, had her hair done every 5 weeks and worked out and still complained about her size 6 body is long gone. The impeccable closet that was replenished almost weekly with new items is replaced with 15 pairs of yoga pants and more sweatshirts then you care to mention. And the pretty undies- oh please, you know that they are buried beneath a pile of no budge Haines that you tell yourself the “bikini cut” makes them not granny panties, but in reality, you know they are.

Yes we all know that the beauty is not on the outside. We should worry about our actions and not about looking good. But there is a level of self care that we as moms have simply let slide. Mind you this is not for the sake of others- I have no problem seeing a woman in yoga pants at the store in the middle of the week with a crying baby. You made it to the store and you have lip gloss on. Power to ya my sister in the trenches. It’s about the feeling as a woman when you take the time to do some self care that you truly do feel much more powerful.

The same level of mindfulness goes for feeding our spirit as well. We used to paint or dance, cook or climb mountains. We grew things, we built things, and we made decisions with other adults. Some maybe not so great but they were yours and did not require a diaper bag. We seem to forget that we had an identity before children. Yes they are the reason for waking up each day, but where did YOU go?

In the midst of our crazy changes this last year, I found myself in a very low level of spirit. Besides the business changes, the moms group I had so loved had sort of dissolved as each of us found our kids getting older, and the ball games and practices and school functions consumed our lives. Besides our home bible studies with the kids, and occasionally attending the church here in town, our moms group had been my outlet. Sure we weren’t all BFF’s that talked on a daily basis, but it was a sounding board and new perspective. We laughed together, cried together. We went though job losses, miscarriages, weight gain and kids with numerous medical conditions. We had each others back, made meals for new moms and raised money for a little girl’s cancer that lost her life just weeks later. It reminded you that you weren’t alone and that these women were feeling the same things in the day to day as a mom. In the midst of this, and Heath being gone with the business, I started attending the church that his brother and sister-in-law had attended for years. They had a great kids program and we had always loved their music and perspective. Our only reason for not becoming more regular was the 35 minute drive. Over the past 8 months it has become a great part of our weekend as a family and look forward to going each week. Several months ago, an opportunity fell into my lap for being a part of their worship team (a newly vamped phrase for chorus). For those who have not known me any more then my adult life, I have always had a great love for music. I played an instrument all through middle school and high school, was in a children’s choir and high school choir and that portion of my life had fizzled out when I walked out of those high school doors; unless you count singing in the car and the occasional karaoke night.

It was a long forgotten passion, which I had given absolutely no attention to. When I went to the first group workshop before Easter, I heard all of these amazing voices and sheet music lingo and felt myself sinking in my chair. When the opportunity came I was excited and now completely panicked. I had no recollection of music chords or keys. I didn’t remember how to harmonize or know what a coda was.  How in the heck was I going to remember? That person was long gone and that information had been shoved down into the depths of my brain, and was no where to be found. But as time went on and the inner shovels dug past all the business information, dentist appointment times and track practice schedules I began to remember. Bit by bit, piece by piece. I was in a room with other adults, making decisions. I was working on cords, blending and not pushing the song speed.  As each song would work its way through, the harmonizations gave me goose bumps. I really had totally and completely forgot how much I had loved it.

So what have you forgotten? What have you walked away from for so long that you don’t even remember what it feels like to be in that place again? Sure there are things in our life that have a season, but you can never forget your roots. The heart of what made you the person you are before those beautiful little wonders came into your life.

I’m not feeling guilty about my self care anymore. I got a gym membership, made a hair appointment, and my husband and I are going on a date Friday; the first, without kids and string attachments of work or chores, in probably a year. I also decided for my birthday to treat myself to an entire spa day, something I had not done since my wedding.

In the midst of all this mindfulness, it also includes eating better. And I don’t mean eating every green blended protein glop that is posted online. I’m talking about food, real food. No shakes. No powders. No points. Just tweaking the food we love and making it less gluttonous.  In our house we barbeque all summer long. And with that comes the opportunity for every creamy mayonnaise filled salad known to man. In the dressing alone, for a 4 person serving, they carry over 1,000 calories! I decided to do some revamping, and cheat the system without loosing the rich creamy flavors. Here is a great pasta salad recipe that fills the need for a creamy slald without the bulk of the calories.

Creamy Garlic Pasta Salad

1 lb. mini shell pasta

¾ c. 2% plain Greek yogurt

2 tbsp. regular mayo

¼ c. skim milk.

¼ c. finely minced onion

2 large minced garlic cloves

¼ c. minced cilantro

1 container grape tomatoes cut into quarters

¾ c. grated 2% milk sharp cheddar

1 peeled, seeded and diced cucumber

 

Salt and pepper to taste

Bring a 4 qt. stock pot of salted water to boil. Add pasta and cook until aldente. Drain and cool.  Meanwhile mix together the yogurt, mayo, milk, onion, garlic and cilantro, chop vegetables and add to dressing. Mix in cooled pasta. Serve immediately or chill until ready.

The great thing about this recipe is you can vary it in so many ways. You can go with more Latin flavors by adding peppers and black beans, maybe even putting in avocado in place of the mayonnaise and a splash of fresh salsa- not the canned crud. You could go Italian and put in some fresh basil instead of cilantro, marinated artichokes and fresh mozzarella. Change up the vegetables to your favorites or add a protein. For my kids and husband they need that richness from the sauce but you could use a fat free Greek yogurt if you want to really cut the calories- or omit the mayo.

This evening I look outside as I’m cooking dinner. I have just gotten back from the gym, the grocery store and taking Payton to track practice. I’m working on a song for Sunday service so the music is playing on my phone. The sun is shining and I see my husband laughing and playing basketball with our kids. It brings tears to my eyes how grateful I am for this life that I am living and all of the people in it. The appreciation of what I have seems to be so much more prevalent when I take care of my mind, body and soul.

Stop, and take the time.

Get your roots done.