Oh my good Gravy!! It has been too long since I took a
moment to enjoy the fruits of my labor via blogging. Since the eons it has been
since my last post last October….( Again I say LAST October)….(sighing and
rolling my eyes)… I have had the joy of
really getting to cook for my fellow family members on at least a monthly
basis. Although I love my children and husband, having a wider audience to
taste my epicurean curiosities makes for a much more constructively critical
audience.
Just before thanksgiving last year, it became very apparent
that my Papa’s time was coming to a close- in an effort to be as supportive as
possible (and to selfishly take advantage of our remaining time together) I
made the decision to spend the next few weeks in Milwaukie with my Mother, Aunt
and Grandma while caring for Papa. I was struggling- and had not faced the
reality that he was going to go soon. So as any normal person, I went straight
for the kitchen. Any meal was no longer simplified- I bought flashy ingredients
and made things I would never fix for my kids or husband. Rich, flavorful foods
with hours invested. I’m sure we all gained a few pounds those weeks together.
Papa was a simple eater though. I knew he would be happy
with anything, but I knew he was on a strict diet the few weeks prior per his
doctors and grandma would follow those notes like a drill sergeant, but now
with the inevitable coming, he had freedom to eat what he wanted. When running
around in the produce department with Grandma-
trying to get a few things before heading back to the house- for some reason I
grabbed a bag of pears. Granted I have never been a huge pear fan but these
looked picture-perfect. They were golden, firm and unbruised. I could tell they
were perfectly ripe and even without a clue as to what I would do with them-
they were in the cart regardless.
Fussing and fidgeting and milling around are the many ways
our family copes. No time to sit and cry- there are things to do. Well for me
the “to-do” has always been food. Even as a kids I would get lost in the
possibilities of dinner and knew when I was 14 I wanted to be a chef. That was
when Papa made me my first recipe binder. He would always joke about how he
would happily be my “tester” anytime. The support of my grandparents has always
weight upon me like a parents would because
of the close relationship I had with them in my childhood, so late one evening
after settling papa in and telling everyone goodnight, I had trouble getting to
sleep so I picked up my laptop and tried to start typing my thoughts for Papas eulogy.
I knew as we talked and spent time together each day I would remember things
and in the chaos of it all did not what to forget them. But with the laptop set,
and my fingers on the keys,
I sat there.
I was stuck-…….
and then, I lost it. Just then my never-failing mother walks
by the door and sees me,
in pieces.
We cried together for a moment without really saying much,
and ending with “I Love you”, as we always do. I then decided to go back to my
serenity of recipes and scoured the web for a sublime pear recipe.
The next day I scurried and stirred, mix and sautéed and
ended with a Spiced Pear Tartlet with Vanilla Bean and Star Anise. It was beautiful; spicy yet subtle, with a
crispy puff pastry crust that flaked like clouds and melted like butter on the
tongue. It tasted like fall on a plate. Papa enjoyed a healthy slice, ala’ mode
of course and for me it was good therapy for moving forward. We lost papa on December 6th, 2010
. We all enjoyed a wonderful few weeks at home with him, and he managed to
finish and entire mince meat pie before he left us.
It was then we decided to have a
monthly family dinner at my parents’ home each month- with no requirements, no
guilt in attending or hidden agenda, just good food and time with family. We
had all had quite a year between the 28+ of us. We have had multiple deaths,
divorces, major injuries, lack of work and as most in this economy, times are tight,
and finding ways to whined down, relax and remember the simpler things is
becoming harder and harder to do when the money isn’t rolling in like it used
to.
So each month we have
a theme- make a dish, play games, drink some wine (and sometimes a little more
wine…and more..). I cannot speak for other folks but our family is pretty much
an open book- we don’t keep secrets we talk about everything, and hold no
grudges as a result. We harass each other; drive each one crazy in some ways-
we even aren’t all in the same political party for that matter. But, the one
constant is that we love each other- and never knowing what time we have, we
know that come hell or high water we can rely on one another. And the small stuff, the little differences in
each one of us, makes for a much more interesting party every month.
So this time around, I dedicate my food- and endless love to
Papa. Thank you for always believing in me and being part of my family and my
life.
I love you
