Laboring, Lent and Letting go

 

I wake up every morning to a quiet house. I make my way through the toy scattered living room, on most mornings in the dark, to make my coffee, read my devotional and enjoy maybe 5 minutes of silence before the first cry of "MOM!!!" echoes down the hall and is immediately followed by " What’s for breakfast, I'm hungry"- in the whiniest shoulder shrugging tone I could hear at 6:15 in the morning. I know most moms can relate to this morning ritual scenario but mine happened to take a turn 6 months ago that I seem to have not shaken.

On Wednesday August 13th, 2014 we signed papers and officially closed escrow on a second location for Sewell's Taxidermy. We officially became a big game taxidermy chain. The moment they handed Heath the keys, I started to cry. I was so proud of the man he had become and how much his business had grown. He started out in a small woodshop in his grandparents’ backyard and was now the owner of two locations servicing both sides of state. He OWNED his, and might I say, very nice second location. He spent all night that evening tearing down the old signs, clearing walls and sweeping up from the previous business and by 8 am Thursday morning, Sewell's Taxidermy Burns was open and ready for business. The beginning of the first hunt of the year, antelope season, started Saturday so the kids and I held down the new location while Heath work his drop station during the day at the other end of town and an employee took care of things at home.

When the time came at the end of August for the kids and I to head home, I knew I had a daunting road ahead of me. Heath would be running the Burns location through the coming months and I would be a single mom, with my 4 kids, 2 daycare kids (one of which would be a newborn), a business to run, and a home and family to care for. I had no disillusion of how it would all be nor did I completely prepare myself for the havoc that would issue. I was alone; completely alone, without a husband to bumper the needs of school, parenting and especially business. The Hunting season had shot off like a rocket with our second business launch on facebook basically going organically viral and being viewed over 9,000 times. By the end of August we have over 100 pieces at the Burns location and September bow hunting was beginning to look very promising. My first week of parenting alone was sheer chaos. between school, preschool, transporting 6 kids (4 of them under the age of 4)  multiples times in a day, Girl Scouts, homework, laundry, family commitments, and much needed housework (or lack there of)-I was wiped. Oh.... I forgot to mention the 40+ Elk I got in during a 3 week period, the first for Sewell’s Taxidermy during bow season in our entire 11+ years! Taking in customer pieces and contacting employees to come out and help-if they could, all while juggling the above items. I was Cinderella with the 3 trays. I was balancing-sort of. But inside I was coming apart at the seams. The little things-like taking a shower, eating sitting down, or getting to bed before midnight became a luxury. This same cycle went on for 3 months going through every hunting season. I even at one point had to take on the duties of capeing out deer which in my 12 years with Heath I had NEVER done, managed a vomiting flu bug that ravaged everyone in our house, myself included and tended to Heaths hound dogs and the accidental batch of 10 puppies that came the week I got home. But I did it, alone- very alone. I felt like the description Bilbo Baggins used in the Lord of the Rings- "Like butter scraped over too much bread". I was short tempered, tired, had gained 10 pounds, emotional, overwhelmed and missing my husband terribly. I kept looking for the light at the end of the tunnel. My only consolation was that business was booming, but at what cost?? I wanted to pass my burden and move to Burns. Be done with Lebanon, hire a shop manager and start our life in a new place.

It has been no secret that our family has loved Eastern Oregon, and on many occasions seriously spent time looking into moving to the high dessert country of Harney County. It’s small, VERY small, away from the bazillion coffee shops, nothing is open on Sunday, and they have one Movie Theater and maybe 6 restaurants. There is no mall, no Wal-Mart or Freddie’s, and the weather consists of subzero temperatures or blazing summer heat- that by the way; come with massive windstorms, thunder and lightning that start fires EVERY year.

But on the other hand, the side that we see is a family driven community of hard working people, mostly with land and farms (80 acres is considered an average home) willing to make deals with a hand shake and a promise. They have only a few coffee shops in town, but they are owned by local people, supported by local people. Businesses aren’t open or working on Sunday because they are at church or spending time with their families. This small community is held together by the people of Harney County and the few travelers that come through town. The winter snow is beautiful and helps supply water to the multitude of ranches during the hot summers- which are subsided by the old, but wonderful community pool that bronzes every kid from opening day to closing weekend. They may not have the fastest wifi, or a huge selection of shopping options, but it’s worth it all in the end to see people exist on the other side of technology and materialistic things.

 I badgered my poor husband for months about a "plan" even before the second location had finalized. But now I wanted it to be over. I even went as far as to fill out mortgage applications and picking out houses. But no matter how much I tried to force the change it wasn’t happening.

We had this great thing happen. This big, wonderful, life changing thing happen and all I could think about was how I felt like a sinking ship with no rescue in sight. The end of November could not come fast enough for me.

By the time the seasons wrapped up, between the 2 locations, we had over 220 shoulder mounts come in, not counting the other small pieces like board mounts and Europeans, bringing our total intake to well over 300 pieces. The second location was a success. It had officially paid for its self and in our first year- no; first few months. We had made a profit. How many small businesses could say that?! Although this was a victory from a huge leap of faith, I immediately began to think of next year and how it would all play out.

Now here we are, the dust settled, the mounting season is beginning with heads going out the door, and my mind keeps wandering to months from now, when September comes. Will it come and repeat the vicious cycle I had suffered before? Can I fix it all and make it less challenging?

 

  Why can’t I let this go?

As most Christian know today is the beginning of lent- it’s generally celebrated by the Catholic Church but it has begun to make a comeback in non-denominational Churches as well. It is a time traditionally for fasting, but in more modern life it is the act of giving something up- something you value. Last year our whole house decided to omit TV from our daily lives except on family movie Friday and only 1 hour a weekend. Subsequently we had our TV break in the midst of lent last year making it much easier to find something else to do. But this year I think besides giving up something as a family, I need to be giving something up, and it needs to be a bigger sacrifice. Although everything in life needs somewhat of a plan, some things you just can’t “fix”. I need to trust the process, know that this to shall pass and at some point, someday, this will no longer be my burden to bear. Sure I have things I will change, but I now know what to expect after going through it last season. I need to let this go. My mom once told me when she was struggling with the same type of blessing/burdens, “Isn’t this what you prayed for?” I think all of us struggle with some of the great tasks in our life; our kids, work, home etc. But they are all things to be grateful for, things that without, we would so desperately want. The feeling I had seeing my husband receive the keys should be the feeling that gets me through the late nights of capeing heads. When Rueben colors on the walls of the house while I’m helping a customer, I need to remember I wanted my children so desperately. They are also going through this change, not just me. I need to remember that while my husband is alone, in a travel trailer, working 5 hours away from his family I am in my home, with my children and complaining about all I have to do. I am not actually alone in this. I have my whole family beside me, walking this journey.

 

As much as I love food, during those 3 months, my cooking left much to be desired. But I found a short cut foodie way to prepare a yummy dinner along with the kids. We always do pizza Friday in our house. Its mom’s way of getting off the hook, using paper plates and the kids get one night with no vegetables. I’m not a huge fan of pizza, but I found one way during a make-your-own pizza night that I think any foodie mama would love.

 

 

Short Cut Shrimp Pizza

1 tube Pillsbury pizza dough

½ c. Marinara sauce

¼ c. Extra virgin olive oil

1 ½ tbsp. Balsamic vinegar

1 tsp. Minced garlic

1 ½  c. Fresh, water packet mozzarella balls

½ c.  Chiffonade (sliced into thin strips) fresh basil

2 c. Small peeled, deveined, cooked shrimp.

Salt and pepper to taste

 

Roll our pizza dough and bake for half the time allotted on the package. In the mean time, mix the sauce, oil, vinegar and garlic together with a whisk until well blended. Spread the sauce over the pizza dough. Warm shimp in a saute pan. Top the pizza with the shrimp and place the mozzarella speratically over the top. Finish with the fresh basil. Salt and pepper according to your liking. I’m normally not a pepper person but a generous amount of fresh cracked pepper over the top really helps this dish pop. Finish baking according to the directions and your liking. I have like to brown mine under the broiler to crisp up the edges.

 

My mornings are chaotic; making breakfast, packing lunches, daycare kids arriving, and hopefully getting the kids out the door on time. It’s a lot to do and a lot to take in and I may only have 5 minutes to myself in the morning but I asked for it all, and its mine. These great gifts I prayed for are right here in my home, and my life everyday. I have no idea what will come next season, it could be just as hard as the last, maybe we will be living in Burns, maybe not, but I know that my family will be with me, right beside me in the trenches and I shouldn’t ever forget that.